Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is the ability to perceive, express, and regulate emotions.1 The term emotional intelligence was created by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer in their article “Emotional Intelligence” in the journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality in 1990. It was later popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence.2
While ‘emotional intelligence’ is a relatively new term, it is not a new concept. Navigating relationships and understanding our own emotions takes skill and practice. Let’s explore the concept of emotional intelligence from wisdom found in the Bible, and learn how to apply these teachings in the real world.
Understanding Emotions: A Biblical Perspective
In the book of Proverbs, we find a wealth of wisdom on understanding and managing our emotions. Proverbs 16:32 teaches us that “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” This verse emphasizes the importance of character over outcomes. This highlights the focus of emotional intelligence: not to manipulate the outcome, but to have control over ourselves.
Empathy and Compassion: Walking in Love
In Colossians 3:12, we’re urged to “clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” By embodying these qualities, we enhance our relationships while practicing the attitude of Christ.
Conflict Resolution
In Matthew 5:39, Jesus provides a counter-cultural lesson in conflict resolution: “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” This radical teaching is not saying to be a doormat; it is emphasizing the importance of responding to conflict with grace and a spirit of forgiveness. This choice is the more challenging but better path to take in the face of adversity. We do this not to seem like the better person, but to combat hatred with love. (Romans 12:21)
The Power of Words
The Bible constantly reminds us of how our attitude can impact our communication with others. Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Being warned of this danger, we can navigate emotional situations with carefulness.
“The heart of the wise instructs their mouth and adds persuasiveness to their lips.” (Proverbs 16:23) By instructing our hearts, we enhance our ability to communicate with persuasiveness and tact.
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24) Emotional intelligence involves recognizing the positive impact our words can have to encourage and build others up.
Resilience in Trials
The story of Job serves as an example of resilience and patience in the face of immense suffering. Despite overwhelming challenges, Job maintained his trust in God. This narrative illustrates the importance of emotional resilience, teaching us to endure life’s trials with steadfast faith.
Our strength does not come from ourselves. Joshua 1:9 reminds us to be “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” even in the darkest of times (Psalm 23:4).
James 1:2-4 also reminds us that trials of different kinds help to refine our faith. It is encouraging to know that even the bad can be used by God for good.
Integrating Biblical Wisdom into Everyday Life
As we journey through the pages of the Bible, we discover valuable lessons on emotional intelligence that are as relevant today as they were centuries ago. God invites us to align our values with these enduring truths. When we apply these teachings to our everyday lives, we can better answer the call to love one another in a godly way.
Hello, I’m Amenda Wong. With years of professional experience in marketing as a graphic designer, I’ve cultivated a diverse skill set. Beyond my career, I’m passionate about understanding different perspectives and meaningful dialogue. In my spare time, I also enjoy using whatever talents I have to serve my community.