If you find yourself in this situation, you’d probably like a short answer which is: probably yes, if both are financially responsible as individuals and comfortable joining accounts.

Financial health for both partners is ideal, but life circumstances and rising inflation can make this challenging to achieve. I knew a wonderful couple who got married while the husband still had a large amount of student loans. and everything worked out with the Lord’s providence.

If lack of money is the only obstacle to marriage, don’t let it stop your plans. Have a candid conversation about the matter and plan towards financial health together. This may involve low budget dates, or maintaining reasonable expectations for wedding expenses. After all, marriage is about a life partnership, not solely about the man providing an extravagant life for his wife, although he may wish to.

Questions to Think About

Here are some questions to reflect on if you are considering marriage in this situation:

• Is the man a hard worker, even if he isn’t making as much money?
• Is the woman comfortable being the primary earner?
• Will she dominate financial decisions and potentially become bitter about it later?
• Is he sure that she is not marrying him for his money?
• Will he feel less of a man or guilty for earning less?

If a man wants to provide more for his wife to feel cared for and less burdened, that is a good intention. The couple can work together supporting his skill development to get a better paying job in the future, but this shouldn’t be a requirement for getting married. The time it takes to find a new job is unpredictable, and prolonging the dating period excessively comes with its own risks.

Committed to More

Remember, life throws curveballs – someone could suddenly be out of a job one day, for whatever reason. Marriage is not about the money. It’s important how the couple views money in light of marriage.

Marriage is not just about money; it’s crucial to understand how you and your partner perceive money in the context of marriage. Marriage is a commitment to each other, and discussions about motivations for marriage are essential.

As marriage should last a lifetime, you cannot hope for or cling to things that may change over time including money. This also applies to similar things like what industry they are working in, how they spend their money and time, and their living situation.

Money Matters

Once married, the husband and wife should be unified; they should view their money as separate. It’s okay for one person to have different views of money from another. I often see these views as complimentary, not conflicting. If the husband likes to save money while the wife likes to spend, this duality can work out well if they can avoid extremes.

A couple needs to get on the same page about how they will handle their resources, and each should communicate their view of each resource – things like money, time, and energy.

A practical way to deal with money matters is to agree on when a discussion is warranted before making a purchase or donation. Perhaps you can set a rule together that if one of you wants to make a purchase above $300, you both need to agree on it first. Another way to avoid conflict is to communicate once a week what you are planning to buy. Planning a budget is strongly recommended and will keep you away from debt.

The Relationship Matters

Beyond income, there are various ways to contribute to a marriage: sharing chores, supporting each other, and planning for the future. It’s not a competition about who does more but about both people giving their best. Reflect on these perspectives and discuss them openly.

Sometimes, one person may need more help and support than the other. If your spouse gets very sick, they may need more physical and emotional care. And one day, you might need more help. Your spouse may not be able to care for you as much as you’d like or need. My advice is to stay grateful for whatever your spouse can provide, and rely on God above all things.

Keep in mind that you cannot force people to return your love and affection. Emotions can change over time, even within a day!

Marriage is a weighty decision; you’ve got to be in it for the right reasons. This shouldn’t scare you away from marriage. When done correctly – God’s way, it brings great joy and fruitfulness for the couple and the people around them.