Boundaries for Believers: Honoring God and Yourself

Setting healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining balance and well-being in our lives. Just as property lines define where one person’s land ends and another’s begins, boundaries set the limits of our personal space, emotions, time, and relationships, ensuring that each area has a healthy environment to flourish. The Bible provides guidance for how to go about setting boundaries and emphasizes having the right motivations behind our decisions.

Physical Boundaries:

Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), deserving of care and respect. Setting physical boundaries involves recognizing and communicating what we are or are not comfortable with regarding touch, personal space, and physical interactions. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to hugs.

This will look different depending on the relationship. To my sisters in Christ: it’s okay to feel beautiful, but dressing appropriately can support our brothers in Christ. While you’re not responsible for another person’s sinful thoughts, you can be a positive influence instead of a stumbling block.

Emotional Boundaries:

Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard our hearts, emphasizing the importance of protecting our emotional well-being. God understands how precious and fragile our hearts can be. We must be careful who to entrust ourselves to.

Emotional boundaries mean recognizing and honoring our feelings, while also respecting others’ feelings. We have the right to express ourselves honestly, and we should expect the same from others, without any judgment or manipulation. It’s healthy to know when to empathize with others without taking on their emotions as our own.

Time Boundaries:

Time is a precious gift from God. Setting boundaries around how we spend it is crucial for maintaining balance. Jesus prioritized rest, prayer, and personal reflection in his daily life (Luke 5:16). Setting time boundaries involves saying ‘no’ to overwhelming commitments and prioritizing activities aligned with our values.

Be mindful of things that do not have a good influence or do not bring any benefit for living a godly life. For some, it may be scrolling through social media. For others, it may be hanging out with people that are simply not a good influence on you.

Relationship Boundaries:

Relationships are a significant part of our lives, but can also be a source of stress if boundaries are not established and respected. Loving our neighbors as ourselves includes setting boundaries that protect while showing love and respect. Communicating needs and expectations clearly is important, even if it feels uncomfortable to do so (Matthew 22:39). It’s also important to communicate your boundaries of how others treat your loved ones as well.

While we do our best to live peacefully with others, we cannot please everyone.   In order to set and maintain your boundaries, you’ll have to get comfortable upsetting others. I trust that you will be at peace if you make decisions with a clear conscience, having done your best to glorify God.

Drawing the Line

In cases where both parties are strong-willed, setting boundaries is necessary to prevent resentment from building. It is loving to be firm yet gracious in enforcing boundaries. An example of this would be telling someone when they have stepped over a newly enforced boundary, but not punishing them for doing so. This communicates your seriousness while giving them time to learn and adjust.

However, if someone repeatedly ignores your boundaries despite your efforts to clearly communicate, it may be best to distance yourself in order to protect your well-being and maintain other healthy relationships. We are called to love others, but not purposefully seek out confrontation.

Conclusion

Be clear and serious about your boundaries, or others will not take them seriously. If someone crosses your boundary, take the steps to avoid it from happening again. Remember, it is not about being selfish or seeking conflict, but about honoring both ourselves and others in a way that fosters mutual respect and growth. By caring for ourselves in a way that honors God, we create space for more fulfilling relationships, and a life more closely aligned with God’s purpose for us.