When you are okay with being single

Your relationship status should not define who you are. Finding your worth in other people causes an unhealthy dependency on others. It isn’t good for anyone involved as no one can be your emotional support 24/7. Building your identity on accomplishments isn’t healthy either. What happens if you are unable to make progress or compare to those who have accomplished more than you?

Building your identity on accomplishments also leads to a constant chasing of discontentment. What happens if you are unable to make progress or compare yourself to those who have accomplished more than you?

Don’t build your identity based on accomplishments or other people, but on God’s view of you – knowing that you’re fully loved and valued. Jesus paid for our faults and gave us his identity of perfection so we are able to live in freedom and confidence. The cool thing about God’s love is that he continues to work with you to transform you into the person you’re meant to be.

When you don’t depend on someone else for your happiness

Similar to the last point, your happiness should not depend on a relationship status. While it’s good to enjoy the dating season, the core of who you are should be your main source of joy instead of circumstance which changes day-by-day.

When you know what you are looking for

Everything you do should have a purpose. The purpose of dating in a Christian context is with the intention and goal of marriage. This means you first need to understand what love and marriage is. Knowing your deal breakers and preferences will help you evaluate if that person is right for you. Knowing what you are looking for will also help to clearly communicate your intention, goals, and expectations for the relationship.

When you’ve learned to share

All relationships take time, energy, and effort. Age doesn’t always correlate with the ability to consider the well-being of others. If you are dating with selfish motives, you will quickly find disappointment. This is also something to look out for in a potential spouse.

Every healthy relationship requires effort and is unique. There should be reasonable boundaries set to ensure you don’t become bitter or worn out from giving your effort and care into a relationship.

When you are not easily swayed by others

I’ve heard many people talk about how their self esteem was damaged due to a toxic relationship. We need to first have confidence in who we are and our principles. Knowing how to treat others will allow you to recognize what is good and acceptable behavior, and to recognize volatile behavior.

We all make mistakes. It’s important to discern when someone can learn from their mistakes or not. We can be gracious but careful when others hurt us. Evaluate when you should continue a relationship or distance yourself from a person.

It can be hard to see red flags when our emotions are high from dating, so surround yourself with people who can give you wise advice for your specific situation – and only from people whose lives you want yours to look like, such as receiving dating advice from a couple that is happily married.

When you don’t succumb to pressure

The pressure to get married and start a family increases as we get older, but it’s never a good choice to compromise your standards or beliefs for anything; it is better to stay single than marry the wrong person.

While dating and marriage should be done intentionally, it doesn’t have to be a serious interrogation all the time! You should enjoy the dating process while you learn more about and observe the person. Equip yourself to handle conflict well as people are imperfect and conflicts guaranteed

Conclusion:

A good relationship is formed when two people are both willing to put in the effort. As I like to say ‘It takes two to tango!’ and it is an ongoing process. I hope these insights help you avoid getting hurt, and prepare you to date with confidence.